I had never known depression until last year when I unexpectedly broke up with my fiancé after a month of engagement. It was definitely not just a breakage of engagement but an end of 8 years long romantic and intimate relationship with him. When I first met him, I was only 16. Although our relationship started with childlike and innocent feelings for each other, it had gradually turned to more mature form where we had started touching each other into a deeper level. It is only six years back he proposed me for marriage to which I responded with a smile of agreement. Since then, we had been dreaming of how we would live our future lives as husband and wife happily. We did put engagement ring into each others’ fingers.
Everything was going well until when he suddenly thought of breaking up the knot. I had no idea what went wrong all of sudden. I think I did my best to keep the relationship going, but it was not enough. The aspirations and hopes I had towards my future crushed into a darkness of uncertainty. Then, the world which was about to turn brighter in a few months took a different turn to a darker side. Life seemed to have lost its meaning. Gradually, I started losing interest in my studies, job and cooking which I used to love the most. I began to lock myself inside my room thinking that it must be the end of everything. And I had almost stopped talking to people including my best friend except for the unavoidable circumstances. Whenever someone used to inquire about me, I used to feel irritated and intolerant of their questions. I was hardly eating and drinking anything. Somehow, I felt lonely deep inside, and I couldn’t tell about it to anyone. “Probably, I wasn’t good enough, and I didn’t try enough! Probably, I am not good.” Thoughts like this came in and filled my sad world with more sadness. As it happened, I could do nothing but fall deeper into the problem and the external world was too ignorant of that to be able to come and rescue me.
Thanks to my mum who eventually figured out that I was suffering from a psychological problem called depression because of a recent break up with my fiancé. Soon, she took me to one of the best psychologist in town, who is good at dealing with anxiety and depression. After that, I came to know that my thinning body, anti-social tendency, sadness and lonely states were nothing but symptoms of depression. The good thing was that I was in the early stage and therefore, quickly cured. If I had not met the psychologist at the time, my situation could have gone worse to the extreme of suicide. Nevertheless, living life with early depression was not that easy, not only for me but for my mother too. Seeing psychologist was not just about curing my psychological disorder. In fact, it was a turning point of my life from where I was able to return to the world of beauty.
It was only after meeting a psychologist that I started to feel better again. By talking with him, I released all the emotional blocks that I had locked inside for months. All the worries fear and tears gradually vanished away and I could see light in my path. I started to reflect on my past clearly and figured out that it happened because it had to happen and not because of my mistake. By building more positivity, I started to engage in daily activities more pleasurably. It looks like I have finally learned to respect myself. I am now grateful for whatever happened in the past for helping me grow to become the person I am today.
Depression is a serious psychological disorder which can lead one to commit suicide in its final stage. There are many reasons of depression besides relationship breakup. It could be because of frustration, loss of someone or something valuable, family problems, divorce, frozen anger, social media and even physical illness. Sometimes, it’s difficult for us to figure out that we have depression and require someone else to tell us that. Once you know that you have it, you should instantly visit a psychologist for help. There are many psychological treatments for depression. Cognitive behaviour therapy or CBT, Interpersonal Therapy, Behavior Therapy and Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) are the major practices used to cure depression by professional therapists or psychologists.